1. Our father who art in Russia, hallowed be thy ground.
    Thy Lingard come
    A VAR will not come
    On Kalliningrad as it is in Kazan
    Give us this Cahill, our daily Dier
    Forgive us Young’s terrible passes
    And lead us not into shot hesitation
    But deliver us from Fifa
    Kane hallowed be thy name!
    Forever and ever our 11 men.

  2. Although the England team weren’t showing the right ways to combat their opponents on the pitch, they weren’t prepared to combat the plague of head lice off the pitch.

  3. Now lads if you lift your arms up like that it’s easier for the opponents to wrestle you to the floor and we can practice our penalties.

  4. Harry….. the next time the Boss tells you to eat your greens like a good little boy…. just do it!!!! Or we all suffer…

  5. “Mr Motivator ain’t got nothing on me” said Harry
    “maybe but he looked better than you” said Walker

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